Crashbox

Lately I have been reading Bike Snob NYC, a blogger who primarily comments about cycling, but who is also just a jolly, cynical complainer. Awesome. The following is an excerpt from today's rant:

...'Because when Mini drivers order up their rally-inspired sticker kits and
strap themselves into their little fun boxes, they feel good about themselves,
and they think the rest of the world should feel good about them too.

But that's not how it works. You should respect everything, but you don't have
to like anything. When someone sees me out there in my moisture-wicking chicken
suit pedaling the ironic Orange Julius bike down to the Jamba Juice store in
order to throw rocks through the front window, they don't have to like me, they
just have to respect me as a road user. (And trust me, nothing commands respect
like a chicken suit.) Nobody's as cool as they think they are, and no matter
what, you look ridiculous to somebody.'

And that comment about Mini drivers (Minnie Driver?) was in response to angry emails about this previous post:

'...The Mini Cooper is the Felt Curbside of automobiles in that it's a neutered
version of something that was once authentic, it evokes racing for people who
will never race, and it's "cute" in a completely derivative and studied way.
As a cyclist, I find Minis particularly annoying, because the trendier
neighborhoods of Brooklyn are filled with them, and they're generally driven
by the sorts of people who text their friends to ask them what kind of wine
they should pick up for the party as they roll through stopsigns into busy
intersections. It's only fitting then that these rolling graduation presents
would be sold as a way to " go green." The people "going green" these days
are the same people who did graffiti or experimented with homosexuality at
their liberal arts college--they enjoy flirting with a lifestyle they don't
understand in an environment where it's looked upon favorably, but as soon
as it becomes difficult, unsafe or embarrassing they conveniently abandon it.
Fortunately for them, you don't have to give up your car to "go green." Instead,
you just need to buy a new one with marginally better gas mileage. And
fortunately, "going green" also allows you to measure just how pretentious
you are by calculating your "carbon footprint." Or, in the case of the Mini,
your "carfun footprint." Hey, if people want to "go green" by buying a car,
or they want to go vegan by ordering a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger,
who am I to complain? But I still think a much better ad would have been:
"Mini: It's Fun-tarded.'