If you want people to think you're smart:

Speak crypticly

Squint your eyes a lot

Keep your hands in your pockets and your voice low

Say 'being' and 'clearly' a lot.

Treat everyone with quiet, smiling distain.

Off-handedly refer to 'Aristotle'.

Be as emotional and convaluted as possible.

Throw in a good amount of shocking examples.

Above all, never explain yourself. The mystery is what makes you smart.

Aren't we a strange breed? If a movie is stright-forward everyone thinks it is dumb no matter how accurate it is, but if it is confusing and dirty and shocking it must be brilliant and sublime. Sheesh.

I-NEED-THIS-CAR!!!!! Oh, you are a sexy mama, aren't you? You want me take you home and love you and care for you? Yes you do! Yes you do!!! *gooseflesh*

J: (Playing guitar) Everyone says that all the songs I play are slow and sad.
C: Yeah, most of the songs I know are sad too.
J: I wonder what that says about people like us?
C: Mmmm. Perhaps we look for a sharper, deeper sense of things that is brought out by sad songs. The sad things in life tend to find their way to the soul.
J: But there is something beautiful there too.
C: In sadness, joy; in pain, hope. It's the Resurection.
(The soft picking of the guitar echoes in the melacholy night).

Although I have not been drunk in a very, very long time...


What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I love being towed. Especially 1100 miles. After almost a week of struggling I finally gave up. I think the Rabbit is lake-bound, and does not mean I'm going camping. Oh well, what can you do? I am dreaming now about buying a nice, new black something: Mercedes, BMW, Porsche; you know, something cool. Ha! I am getting to that point most mechanics reach in thier lives when the idea of working on a car throws them into violent fits and convulsions. But I still love cars. It's sick, I know.

I sit on my hood in the parking lot. The sun is beating down hot and dry; drying out a throat that is already coarse and choked. Slamming the pathetic piece of trendy plastic that people call a phone these days further into my ear, I try to understand the developing conversation. It's funny how sometimes the more a person talks the more unreasonable they become. I am referring to myself. For such a long time now that I am not even sure where it started, I have been haunted by weird unrest and the feeling that my own difficulties separate me from my friends. There is searching, and then there is just inexplicable restlessness. Life does not have to be this serious. Getting up I walk toward the store, but I never get there. Instead I find myself squatting against a shady wall. And old couple pass me by. I am arguing, but I alternately feel right and completely, stupidly wrong. The old couple walks by again. And again. And I am less reasonable than ever. Why is it that the best friend are the most at odds. It seems like the more you care, the more you are at each other's throats. My phone is dying, so I brave the heat and make for the car and the precious charger. Weird pauses. We are both fumbling for apologies and last-minute, defensive jabs. There is hope, but there desperate fear. Losing a friend can feel like the world is coming apart at the seams. The endless silent echo of a sharp 'click'. Alone I am surprised at my selfishness, at the confusion I feel. After all, doesn't life go pretty well generally, and don't people often ask me for advice? O, I feel stable and confident then! But where now is this surety? Where have my convictions gone? Leaving the parking lot I curse. I don't even go into the store to get the shoes I needed. The only thing that matters now is to solve this problem. As I drive, (a little too fast) I am faced with reality. It is a reality I have observed in the past but somehow forgotten. Struggling I pray for strength. (Am I more messed up than most?)It comes to this: It is not about your own opinion or whether you were right or wrong...no. Where is your heart? That is what matters. Do you want to gather up the broken pieces of yourself, glue them carefully back together and build greater fortifications for the next time? Or do you wish to find truth. To be humble. To forgive. To be willing to be wrong. To change...There are clouds now, and the day is not so hot; it is quite beautiful in fact. I drive toward that absurd little farm that home for now I try not to think about all the stresses of the next couple of days. The sky is so pretty. Perhaps friends are more resilient than I thought. Perhaps if I call him back...

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, I guess that's about right.

What is this sound I hear?
Across the room pure beauty
And I
Separation from that which is found in the smallest of dusty corners
Cleansing so bright
The little man opens his mouth in anger.
Right away the confusion
Going
Gone
But not lost, of course; for the sky is still orange and pink in the eve
Color
And the pen
Trying to feel smart...
Reality is craving my soul
Clutching, but the rug pulls free
Swept up and
Held by the scruff
A grin spreads wide
Hwah!

I fear my blogs have grown stale
I send but do not recieve mail
There is a chance I may end up in jail
For messing with something so frail
Apologies will always entail
Humility on a face so pale
Into the unknown to sail
Fading to North on the rail...

These last couple weeks have been about the weirdest I have ever had. I feel like I am sitting in the car, all packed up and ready to go, but I am waiting...just waiting. This farm is cool in a way, but it is dirty and disorganized. That always makes me edgy. I have all kinds of thoughts and plans and hopes about the future, but even if nothing happens the way I am dreaming it might, that's okay if only I could be active! I want to write, draw, work on projects I was putting off because I was at TAC...I know, I am just bitching, but I am unbelievably restless. Here are some of my recent observations:
When trying to convince some one they are wrong, you can't just tell them. You have to lead them to see it by painting their opinion in a light that makes them look more closely at it of their own accord. This could even mean agreeing with them.
Don't apologize too much to those who love you: they will love you even through your mistakes, and you will hurt them with too many 'sorrys' because they have already forgiven you.
Order as best you can your immediate physical world: your interior world will benefit.
If you are stressing out about something, take time, (not too much, just a reasonable amount) to do something completely diverting and fun; then break your problem into the smallest possible pieces and take care of one at a time.
Be willing to face tasks you have always or often avoided, especially difficult ones. Even if you are not required to do it, facing the discomfort can be an amazing and revealing experience.
Get out of yourself. The only one in there is you, and you are not going to learn anything new from obsessing in your own head. People, for all their problems have more to offer than we give them credit for.

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
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Damn! I am a girl agin!


You are Sally. You are suspicious and like to
explore whenever I get the chance.


the nightmare before christmas character quiz
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I am sitting at the counter in this crazy little house on this very weird little farm drinking the best mate I have ever had. It's my own experimental recipe, and as I plan to open a coffee/art house in the very present future and serve it there, please no one steal my idea, but I recommend you all try it. It's very simple: just mix a judicial amount of honey into your hot water before you pour it in. The amount is up to you, but this stuff is utterly transformed. Right now it is the tastiest drink I have ever had. Anyways, random thought for the day:

blogging makes you think...but be careful not to be too 'clever'