Crashbox

It is strange to be a place where you know life is changing a lot and that the things you have come to know well and grown comfortable with will soon all be gone and different. This is both an exciting and an unnerving time...I am looking for a new job (still in California, just not at TAC), changing my outlook on the future (I actually have a desire for job security and roots, believe it or not!), and in the meantime trying keep my footing beneath a landslide of tasks and projects that will have to be finished and cleaned up if I actually intend to move. My ideas about work have changed a bit too; I still have hopes of pursuing the dreams I have held onto for many years, but I am ready to accept that if I want the quality of life to go up and I want opportunity for family/house/car/travel/etc. in the future I need to be serious about taking a job that will accomplish that, even if it is not an ideal one. And really, what is worse: feeling crappy about being a low-level mechanic/minion and struggling to make rent with zero savings, or putting up with corporate-related bullshit but having respect and enough money for financial peace of mind. Either way it's not exactly 'living my dreams', but fulfillment comes in time, and under many different guises. But despite all this, I know that I tend to live like a poor man, and the things that mean the most to me have nothing to do with money at all...I am merely seeking to cover California living expenses (bastards!) and an escape from the 'empty pockets stressed-out blues'. On a more immediate note, life is absurd right now...my roommates and friends are playing a sort of 'musical houses' (or at least talking a lot about it), and I have so much to do that I get home and stare at the wall because I have too much to do. Okay, not really, but everything that gets done seems to produce three more to do as matter of course. I guess this is called 'being growed-up.' (Sigh).