Crashbox

Had a great time with Equivocal the other night; music, pizza, whiskey, and some long over-due catching up. These things never last long enough, but it was still awesome. At certain times in life some people can quite suddenly become your best friends; whether you spend a lot of time with them, discover the understanding of a mutual mind, or simply admire them, life is enriched and you begin to think that things are exactly the way they should be...but Time will not hold still, and all things are eventually thrust asunder. It's rather thought-provoking to note just how much and how quickly we all change...on the outside we remain pretty recognizable, but deep in the soul, life has wrought a subtle, constant change that can take some real looking to become apparent, even in yourself. Maybe this is more true for us due to the kind of people we have been friends with, and the kind of more-or-less intellectual life we have been living, especially with relation to our time at The College. Any who have struggled through the curriculum, argued loudly on the patio or crouched in the heavy silence of the darkened chapel know that they cannot escape. The door of wonder has been braced open, never to be shut while the mind and soul are still sound. This is not meant to be a lamentation however: we are truly privileged individuals who share in a real degree of enlightenment; and for this we ought to be thankful. The myriad changes we endure are the necessary consequences of a mind that seeks Truth above all else; one that subjects personal preference and comfort for that which is higher. Still, the human heart deeply desires belonging, that kind of love which is claimed as one's own by right, so that we can be secure even in our weakened and blame-worthy state. And this leads to a deep disturbance at change: for it would seem that the shreds of security and love we have finally drawn to ourselves are destroyed by the lack of a static world. At this point of course is where we try to remember that rest in Christ is the only sense of belonging that can be ultimately realized, because that is what we were created for---to be with Him. The only way that love is truly unconditional and unchanging is when it comes from God. It is very difficult to rely on this knowledge alone while still living, however---despite prayer and rational argument, we all know the pangs of feeling alone, isolated, misunderstood---we are by nature meant to be among other men, interacting, living, loving: in fact, as St. Thomas says, we will 'see' God and comprehend His love according to the Charity we have shown to others. One question remains then: while on earth, since we are all weak, composite creatures, living in a material world where we are forced to behave with enough practical activity to survive; burdened with a darkened mind, contrary will, and violent passions, in what way can we properly seek roots, grounding, comfort, the love of others?

As of right now I cannot put words to the parts of this question I think I can answer...when my thoughts have formed into something more coherent I will take up the thread again.