Crashbox

Cold steel rails stretch ahead into the darkness of a country night, glinting a little in the frosty starlight. It's chilly here at home. The days are sunny and 70 degrees, but the nights drop the 30s or 40s. I went walking in the dark yesterday, following the railroad that runs past my house on it's way north. My brain is so full: stay here at home and work with my uncle, fix my cars, but make little money; go back to Portland and freedom and the possible work that has cropped up there after the initial disappointments...I don't know. Do I ever? I am beginning to think that I am perpetually looking for something that really can't be found. At least, something that can't be held onto once it's been found. And so goes man's endless struggle for contentment on this earth, all the while knowing that God wishes us to be with Him, not here. Life is full of little wonders though---I ran out of gas in my old truck today, and was given a ride in the back of a friendly neighbor's truck; Later, I asked about an old motorcycle that I used to ride when I was younger, and randomly, it was given to me. These empty fields fill me with a strange emotion...Life out here (home) is lonely and lovely...