Crashbox

"Don't leave," I said.

But I wanted to leave myself.

"It makes the most sense [to stay]."

The fact is, in my mind it is already over. Still,that is no way to live life---running; giving up when you are so close. We are so sure that time is our own, and we think we are going to miss out on something if we don't do it now. The truth is, we have little control in the end. We are carried by time, people, objects, circumstances, and the occasional tsunami...and it is up to us to do what we can with the things we are passing by as we pass by them.

"So you should stay."
"Tell me that I shouldn't take this as a sign and grab something I really want."
"..."
"Is it right to feel moved to do something and do it?"
"Not always, but I think sometimes yes."
"How do we ever know?"
"Prayer."
"..."

Trust in the source of truth and love. Ask and it shall be given, though perhaps not what was desired. But that is trust---the not knowing, the acceptance combined with enthusiasm and proper ambition."

"That is an impossible balance to achieve.

Maybe for now, but not always. The way will be given.

"yes."

And now I, the man trying to convince am nearly drowning in the desire to leave. Must hold on; there is plan that is not mine, and a reason that is good. I will trust.